sleepless night

I'm lying in my bed unable to sleep. 

Can't really understand why as I'm really tired. I think that the Swedish tobacco (snus)  that I've had beeing in sweden has been to strong for me and my heart are raising, like having anxiety. 

I am lying here being scared and insecure about the future. I am insecure about the decision that we made that I should work, fixing peoples clothes and try to sell my things. 

I am worrying about if we will have enough money. I would say that's only one thing that can make me lie awake in the night, and that it the worrying about that. 

What if I don't get enough customers, what if I want sell anything. It's much better maybe to not try to persuade the dream, go and get a office job and have my steady income. 

I am torn sometimes with these feelings, and I guess that is just  something that everyone goes through.

But I see all the wanting we have. 

My husband want a kindergarten for out girl= cost more money

We want a bigger place= cost more money  

 I want a regular work out= cost some money

We want a child= cost money

Maybe I'm scared, scared that we have these coming expenses, me not getting enough in with what I want to do so I one day will quite. See it wasn't possible, go back to my office and work there and that is just something I wouldn't want. 

Gosh, yes that's what it is.